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April 23, 2020

Now I Realize – A Poem By Fatimah Laher

Now I Realize Illustration - By Huda Kazmi

Now I Realize – By Fatimah Laher, Illustration by Huda Kazmi

 

I’ve accepted it, the bitter truth. Everything was bound to happen anyway,
so why bother trying to change the situation?
The best I can do is wait for it all to blow over, but I just don’t understand what I did.
What did I do to deserve this?
Did I displease Allah? My parents? My teachers?
Whatever I did, I beg for forgiveness, but it seems it’s too late and all hope is lost.
All that’s left to do now is wait til the end, the only thing that is promised to us.
This is my last cry for help, for someone to help me, guide me;
We’re all just on the road to inevitable death,
What does it matter if I die in a state of contentment? A state of sadness?
The only goal now is making it through the remainder of these dull days,
Each one a chore, but somehow I’ll get through it.
I’ve dug myself into a deep hole, no, I’ve created a crater.
A crater that’s been hit by a meteor of apathy, of detachment from the everyday.
Of inconvenience upon tragedy upon betrayal.
If this desire to not care was as passionate as my desire to change things;
Maybe the rest of my life would look different.
Maybe if I stay in touch with my Lord, if I ask him to give me strength,
He’ll help me, guide me.
I’m at my wit’s end, looking for anything to give me the strength to keep going,
So this is my prayer to you, O Allah.
I want this suffering to go away forever.
Nothing else is working, so I’ll kneel to you in prayer.
I realize now that You should have been my priority,
But I was distracted by my own immaturity,
I realize now that You’re the one who’s in control of all things,
So please give me the strength to keep going, so I can see what the future brings.
I realize now that you know exactly what’s best for me,
So I’m leaving the rest with you, O Allah, in hopes that you will bestow your mercy.
I realize now that my actions could have been cleaner,
I’ll try to fix myself but my renovation goes further than my demeanor.
My Lord, I’m doing this all for your sake,
I’ll do anything to heal this ache
I realize now that you’ve been watching over me this whole time.
Islamic Poems, Poems by Muslim Children, Stories by Muslim Kids ,
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